Taming The Troublesome
by xNatto
Summary: The peace between Konoha and Suna lies in the hands of one, very annoyed Shikamaru Nara. But can he keep those hands from strangling a certain Temari? Or can he just plain keep his hands off her? Love and peace has never been so troublesome.[ShikaTema]
1. Amusement

**Taming The Troublesome**

**Rating: T**

**Chapter One: Amusement**

The 16 year old sighed, and pressed the warm inside of his elbow against his eyelids – the thin sheen of epidermis that protected his exhausted, overworked eyes. He lay with his elbow pressed to his eyes for sometime, his breath growing increasingly slower and steady as the seconds ticked. The boy was at peace now, perhaps still possessing life, but asleep just the same. His exhausted brain, the squishy pink thing that kept him a significant part of the leaf village since he had been the only shinobi to become a chunin out of all the genin thrown at him. It was amazing to see the value of a bunch of crumpled flesh with a nervous system.

Shikamaru Nara was asleep, as he was often wont to do, on a grassy hillside, just having returned from a mission during which he was sure death was coming. Having not been able to shake the feeling of his impeding demise, he decided that if, in fact, Death decided to come back in knock him off anyways, it was best he died doing his favorite activity – cloud watching.

Yes, at last he had some peace and quiet, no one to bother him, just the sky, and the grass, and-

"Wake up Nara."

It was one of Tsunade's unwilling servants. The boy drew a slight breath inward, and sighed heavily. Pulling his forearm off his face, he sat up.

"Yes, what is it?" He asked hoarsely, rubbing his face with the hand that wasn't holding him up.

The man smiled, rather sadly it seemed. Shikamaru must have looked like shit, covered in dirt and blood, dark rings under his eyes, a slight teenage stubble gracing his jaw in a rugged sort of way.

"The Hokage needs you."

"Which?" Shikamaru knew it was a stupid, an obvious question, but he had developed a new, more flippant, attitude since he had been awoken.

"The fifth." The man rolled his eyes, and tapped his foot with impatience.

"Hmmm. What does she want?"

"Wouldn't tell me."

"What a pain." Shikamaru mumbled to himself. With this new situation, and an advanced, underused annoyed brain on hand, he decided maybe it would be fun to mess with this impatient man, to make up for his interrupted nap.

"Did you CHOOSE to come and tell me this? Or were you ordered by that troublesome lady?"

The man slapped his forehead and grunted with dissatisfaction.

"I don't have time for this." He said, with gritted teeth.

"I'm not leaving until you answer me."

"Like hell you aren't."

"Watch me." Shikamaru sounded like a hormonal 14-year old girl.

"You are by far, the most..."

"Just answer me."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Why do you care so much?!?"

Shikamaru just smirked at the fuming man.

"FINE! I'll admit, I am the unwilling servant of the fifth hokage, you happy?!?"

"Quite."

The boy pulled himself to his feet lethargically.

"Now, are you absolutely sure my presence is vital?"

The man slapped his forehead once again, harder, if anything.

"Why the hell would I _be_ here if you weren't needed?"

"Well, you could go _for_ me, and then come back and tell me what I'm needed for."

The man's face grew red with each slow and carefully annunciated word Shikamaru spoke. God, it was fun to prod people in the ass.

Shikamaru cut him off before the man could issue his no doubt steaming reply.

"Let's just go, this whole thing is incredibly troublesome."

**XxxxX**

A knock.

"Yes, what is it?" An irritated female voice and the rustling of papers.

"Tsunade-Sama, I have brought Nara Shikamaru."

The female voice was warmer now, if only the tiniest bit.

"Well, bring him in."

The door opened, and the Fifth Hokage quickly shoved some papers into the top drawer of her desk. He could see the crumpled titles of the papers. They were written in Jeraiya's lolling script. The door closed behind Shikamaru.

"Yes," came the honeyed words, "Shikamaru…"

She folded her hands loosely under her chin ad gazed at him, through a long, awkward silence. The boy broke it.

"It _was_ you who called me here." His brow furrowed.

Another silence.

"Right-?"

"No, you're correct, I _did_ call you here." Why wouldn't she just get to the point?!?!

Silence once again.

The Hokage suddenly drew out a scroll from the pile on her desk.

"I believe you are aware of the current situation between Konoha, Leaf Village, and Suna, Sand Village, correct?"

Shikamaru frowned. Last he had heard, they were at peace, perhaps soon to be allies. He hadn't heard anything since he had left on his last mission however; were the circumstances different now?

The Hokage spared him his brief confusion, ad answered for him.

"It is peaceful. One more positive event and we may be able to draw up a peace contract. Which, by the way, I'm putting you in charge of writing. You know how to please."

Shikamaru decided to ignore the last comment, which could have dual meanings. Wait- she wanted him to draw up the peace contract? Was that it?

"So, aside from the peace contract, how does this concern me?" '_Troublesome lady, she should get to the point!_' he thought.

"I was getting to that." The smile returned to her face. The boy in front of her found it rather creepy. He couldn't place a finger on what type of smile that was…

"You are going to be conducting the last push we need to give them." Without further ado, she handed him the scroll. He flashed her a hopeless look, and pulled open the scroll. It took him a few moments to read it, but after he did, the boy seemed very confused.

"It's from the Kazekage….but…I don't quite-" Tsunade saved him from his confusion.

"You remember the Kazekage's older sister, correct?"

Shikamaru's eyes suddenly grew wide, with terror, and the scroll went limp in his hand.

"N…No, you can't possibly mean-"

The Kazekage only had one sister. The one woman he feared as much as his mother, if not more.

"Temari." Tsunade confirmed.

It was then that Shikamaru understood the look on Tsunade-Sama's face.

Amusement.

**XxxxX**

"Holy Shit, you're kidding, right? You are seriously not going to-"

Shikamaru said nothing, did nothing, betrayed to emotion. He resembled a quite hollow shell, eyes wide, face expressionless.

"So….you have to show Temari around…AGAIN?!?!"

Still no response.

"For how long?"

The hollow boy spoke. "A week. Seven days of hell. My last seven days no doubt."

"Well, what do you have to DO?!? She was sent by the Kazekage, wasn't she? Do you have a choice? Can't you just decline? They can get someone else, can't they?"

The Nara boy sat up, pressing his fingertips to his temples. Damn Tsunade and her sick sense of humor.

"Apparently… they're checking up on Konoha before making the move into alliance. So, I have to show her different aspects of the village for a week."

"W…where is she staying?" Shikamaru's best friend dared to ask.

"There's a bit of luck right there. She's been given an apartment in the Hokage's Foreign building. You know how we have a bunch of Waterfall shinobi training here?"

Chouji nodded.

"It's where their jounin stay. So, she'll be plenty far away from me for 12 hours of the day."

"Dude, that sucks.. But… I never really knew… why exactly do you hate her?"

"Chouji, do you want to die an early death?"

"Jesus, I was just asking!"

Silence.

"You should still tell me."

Another silence.

"She's the most troublesome person on the planet. Always up in my face, criticizing me, making me do more than I have to… and she hits me every time I do something she doesn't like. She's like my mother, except hormonal."

"That sounds like Ino to me."

"Temari is WORSE. Deep down, Ino cares for me as a teammate. Temari could kill me with no second thoughts whatsoever. Talking to her is like subduing all of Suna with a single kunai!"

There was a pause.

"Kind of funny, you know?" Chouji smiled.

Shikamaru didn't find any part of his situation funny, and just glared.

His companion continued.

"The Nara men always seem to fall for troublesome women."

** XxxxX** END OF CHAPTER **XxxxX **

**Author's Noteh:**

Teehee, my first Naruto fic. It pretty much started as most Shikamaru x Temari fanfics do, but since this is my favorite pairing, I want it to turn into a hilariuous romantic comedy with droplets of seriousness sprinkled about. How am I doing as far as slipping into ooc goes? Shika-Chan's my favorite character, so I'm trying not to bend my fantasy into this story too much. Please review, I won't bother continuing if nobody's interested xD. I know it's a short chapter, but it's just because I don't want to go any farther into the story if nobody's gonna read it. Anyways, see y'all later! ** 333 Troublesome Natto**


	2. Alleged Pervert

**Taming The Troublesome**

**Rating: T**

**Chapter One: Alleged Pervert**

_I'm sincerely sorry if any of you are disappointed with this chapter, since it's not as funny as the first. MORE FUNNINESS WILL COME, TRUST ME!!! –hugs Kano-_

_**ALSO- I hate to ask this, but is anyone interested in being my editor? I feel that I really need one, due to my fast-moving plot skills xD**_

_**Edit: Hey, sorry about the misspelling of Jiraya, my word processor changed the spelling of all my names. I just forgot to go back and edit his! Sorry!!**_

**XxxxX**

Chouji went home with a rather large bump on the top of his head that day.

A still bitter Shikamaru went off in pursuit of Ino. Maybe she'd make him feel better. It wasn't until Shikamaru reached the door of the Yamanaka Flower Shop that he wondered why the hell he had thought that. Ino would just make things worse.

It was starting to get dark, and the frigid November air was making his various bruises hurt. It was as if the evil fate dog was coming back to hump his leg. But he couldn't go home and dread the next day for the entire night.

He needed to be consoled before he went to bed. He slumped on to an empty metal park bench and instantly felt his butt go numb from the chill. His breath came out in wet little puffs of steam, glistening in the light of the closing shops. This was stupid. All of it. All the way down to Tsunade's amused smirk. He placed his chin in his hands and scowled.

"Good thing the smartest man in Konoha isn't feeling hormonal."

Shikamaru's head snapped upwards, and he took in a quick breath and moaned. "ow-ow-ow-ow…" Damn those neck cricks!

"Did I scare you?" The man smiled warmly, a feat that seemed almost impossible in the bone-chilling night air.

"Go to hell."

"Now, now, is that any way to treat your Sensei?" The man, Asuma, sat next to his student, and stretched back on the bench, his arms arched behind his head.

"So, what's got you down, Shikamaru? It's unlike you to be a slave to your emotions. Are you sure you're not over-reacting? I mean, this is a girl we're talking about."

Shikamaru's glared at him. People needed to stop messing with him. It was awfully troublesome to have to untangle people's motives.

"If you knew what I was thinking about, why the hell did you ask? And who told you anyways?"

Asuma decided not to answer the first question. "The Hokage."

Shikamaru made a fist. "That woman is sick! As soon as the peace contract is done, so help me, I'll-"

Asuma laughed to himself. This woman sure had Shikamaru in a tizzy.

"Tsunade's not the one you should be mad at." The calm voice of Asuma interrupted. He looked away. "If you're going to be pissed off at anyone, be pissed off at me. I'm the one who reccomended you for the job."

"WHAT?!?" The boy's eyes were open wide, his mouth open slightly in shock. "Why the hell did you do that?!? You know Temari and I don't get along!!" _'Understatement of the year'_ He thought.

Asuma smiled and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. There was a silence.

"Shikamaru, you've got an incredible mind. See if you can figure it out on your own. Just for a moment, think about why I might have done this."

The steamed breath hung in the air for a moment before disappearing. The cold night swallowed all noise, in an ear-ringing silence.

"Because…. You're mentally unstable?"

Asuma laughed, a raw laugh that sounded more like an amused bark.

"You really aren't all that smart are you?"

Shikamaru felt foolish and embarrassed. His sensei rarely insulted him, and when he did, it was harsh. He blushed in the darkness, a reaction that didn't normally occur.

When Asuma recovered, he looked like he had been holding back that laugh for a long time. What was with everyone finding his situation funny!?!

"Shikamaru, your mind can comprehend the most complex of math studies, thousands of possible battle moves, there isn't one game you can't master within a week. But when it comes to other people, namely women, you're clueless! Your social skills drop every moment you go cloud watching rather than eat lunch with your friends, every time you go to sleep rather than write letters to your family. Ever since you left the Nara household, I've been worried about you. More than a jounin's sensei status requires."

He paused. "Genius can only get you so far," he continued, "After that, you actually have to _deal_ with people. Like talk to them, relate to them, befriend them." He smiled, "Which I know is a relationship you've already established with Chouji. What if you were sent on a mission as a spy? To join in a culture and be accepted? If you didn't talk, and kept to yourself, people would suspect you right away. And you'd fail a mission. FAIL. Maybe even be killed. Think of this… as a mission. From me to you. Your mission is to deal with the person you dislike the most for an entire week – enough to render positive results. And there's much more at stake than some fickle personal grudge. The peace between Suna and Konoha is at stake. There aren't any 'moves' to consider. You don't have options of any kind. You're going to be nice to Temari even if it kills you, you got that?" Asuma ended on a threatening note.

Shikamaru was surprised. Both at the severity this situation had suddenly given him, and at Asuma's blatant dislike of Shikamaru's social attitude. He felt at first, a bit insecure. Had someone been watching him closely?

Asuma's face softened. "So hear me out. This is your mission: Become a better person."

Shikamaru grinned throughout the entire silence that followed his last comment. Grinning was rare, but it was all right to do it now. Someone cared about him. Someone that didn't have to, and didn't find it a troublesome task.

"That was really mushy, you know."

"Shut up, lazy-ass." A cigarette butt was thrown at a certain 16-year-old.

XxxxX

When Shikamaru got inside his apartment, he realized that he hadn't been consoled at all, only felt more crappy now that he knew he had to deal with Temari or the whole village would watch as he was hung from the rafter's outside the Hokage's building.

He looked at the instruction sheet Tsunade had given him. It was formatted like an itinerary. It was typed, but it often had Tsunade's harsh letters in red pen.

Suna Liasion Check Up Schedule.

**Day One: **

**9:30** Pickup from Hokage's Guest Building

_(That means don't be late, Shikamaru, or I'll kick your ass, and I'm sure she will too. You don't want your ass kicked twice, Nara,)_

**10:00** Arrive at Konoha's Farmer's Market

_(Show her all the items being sold, and explain about the agriculture of the area, the financial benefits of our organic crops. Stay away from Kano's Gay Vegetable stand PLEASE)_

**Day Two:**

**1:00** Pickup

_(Need I reinforce this?)_

**2:00** Arrive at Konoha Academy

_(Explain to her about the waterfall students if she asks, and assure her we have their full loyalty. If she still doesn't believe you, introduce her to Iruka and have HIM assure her)_

Shikamaru stopped. He didn't think he could handle reading the rest. Each day sounded like more and more torture. Day one was enough to kill Shikamaru all on its own. Kano, Hidden Waterfall's own Gay Ninja had an immense crush on the lazy genius, and once almost raped him… it was…not a nice story. However, Shikamaru was pretty sure Kano was out on a mission with the rest of his team now, so, he didn't really have anything to worry about.

BUT, not only was he required to talk to Temari, he also had to talk to other, most likely friendly, members of Konoha.

'_MY social skills are fine!'_ he thought indignantly

He never hated his captain as much as he did right then.

**XxxxX**

The next morning actually came rather quickly for the hapless genius. HE had managed to fall asleep around one in the morning, which wasn't late at all. He took a shower, and changed into his normal baggy black clothing and vest. He was almost tempted to wear his old uniform, but he figured it would get cold after dark.

"Psssh, what do I plan on doing after dark anyways…" he mumbled to himself as he sat in a pastry shop, about to order breakfast.

"Ooo, what's going down after dark?"

It was the stupidly deep voice of everyone's favorite perverted senin. Shikamaru whirled in the direction the voice was coming from. He was so enveloped in self-pity he didn't even realize Jiraiya-sama sit down next to him.

"What'll it be boys?"asked a pretty lady from behind the counter.

Shikamaru groaned. This was just not his day. First he thought an unintentionally dirty thought, it escaped his mouth and JIRAIYA heard it?

All trace of appetite that had once existed within him disappeared off the face of the earth as soon as he hear Jiraiya-sama order two beanpaste- pastries and an extra helping of her breasts.

Is this what he did all day?!? Go around and harass young women? Shikamaru had never really respected the man, but honestly. What had he turned Naruto in to?

He just needed to marry Tsunade and leave all of them alone. He left the shop and checked a clock through the window of a bookstore. Damn. He needed to meet "her" at the gate in half an hour. He took his time, and so to say, moseyed on over to Konoha Gate.

The gate itself was pretty pointless. Any normal shinobi could get over that gate in a heartbeat, and there were trees surrounding it at all angles. One could easily climb a tree and jump over.

However, it was a symbol of security (no matter how weak) for the village.

Temari was late, that much was clear

What if she forgot to come? Or perhaps she was killed on her way? With a renewed confidence, he picked soggy autumn leaves off the wall of the gate and hopped on to it , climbing into the tree above it. He groaned loudly as dew sprinkled into his hair and soaked his hands and feet. He pulled himself to the top of the (now identified) oak, and hid amongst the pathetic remainder of yellow leaves that hadn't been torn violently from the branches yet. A few flittered to the ground, and Shikamaru once more felt lazy and tired.

Maybe he could catch a little nap…

It wasn't long before he heard the crunching of leaves approaching. He quickly awoke and peeked down from the tree, feeling groggy. She wasn't aware of his presence, perhaps the dampness on his clothes made him harder to detect.

About 258 different greeting tactics zoomed into the vicinity of his thought. About a third of them were amusing as well as entertaining. He began to debate over which to use when the crunching stopped, and she spoke out loud to herself.

"Where the hell is my guide?"

She pulled her fan off her back and dropped it at the bottom of the wall. Shikamaru couldn't see very clearly, but he could have sworn she just… hopped up on to the wall? Was she seriously sitting, prone on the wall, about 10 feet in the air waiting for her guide? Maybe she was more patient than he had remembered. Pushaw.

He laughed to himself. Temari? Patient? The same girl who after being 10-20 minutes late complained immediately that someone else was late? She was probably crouched, waiting for her guide…him…so she could attack him like some kind of fan-wielding PMS-ing bitch.

A thought popped into his head. If it were a light bulb, it would be a very bright one, unlike the normal dimly sputtering one. It was… a real thought-driven idea.

Shikamaru smiled viciously. Asuma wanted him to treat this like a mission? Then this was his first battle.

**XxxxX**

Temari was bored, pissed off, and ready to kick the ass of the next person to walk through the Konoha gate, whether it be her guide or otherwise. She crouched on the wall, examining her nails, when she heard a rustling behind her. It definitely wasn't a shinobi.

They didn't hide in trees and let their victims know it, by making ridiculously obvious rustling noises. Reaching up under her kimono, Temari pulled a second, smaller fan from the holster on her leg. This pervert was going down.

Shikamaru was getting sick of his initial ideas to scare the shit out of her. Besides, she'd probably just hurt him anyways. Making up his mind, he rustled out of the tree and landed quickly and softly beside her.

_**THUNK.**_

"DIE PERVERT!!!" Came a high-pitched squeal as Shikamaru was hurled over the side of the wall by a fan as long as his forearm.

He shouted out as he tumbled ten feet towards the leaf-bedded ground.

_**CRACK**_

Shikamaru couldn't tell if those were his bones, or the various twigs that had been crushed under his bitch-fan propelled body. He moaned, as Temari's feet slammed to the ground next to him. He could see the heels of her shoes, and the purple painted toenails clearly.

"What the hell?!?" he groaned feebly.

"What the…Pineapple-head?!?!"

**XxxxX** END OF CHAPTER **XxxxX**

**Author's Noteh:**

Yeah, that whole Jiraiya scene was pretty pointless, but I just wanted to add him. That scene will have signifigance later. Thank you so much to my first reviewers, agent-doo, Kane-the-Warrior, Kajiin, and Squigalishis. I was so excited to get reviews, it wasn't even funny xD. I've never gotten my stories reviewed before . Like I said before, I'm soooo sorry if there's any ooc. I felt that Shikamaru's character changed a bit after his talk with Asuma. Maybe he was… a bit less lazy. I'll make him more lazy in the next chapter. Also, as much as I love Shikamaru, his head DOES look like a Pineapple, with the hair and all, so it's very likely that Temari would pick up on that xDDD This chapter was sort of rushed to be finished, I had it half done before I posted Chapter One, so I'm sorry. If I see any mistakes I'll fix them. Stab the long author's notes! **Troublesome Natto **


	3. The Troublesome Woman

**Taming The Troublesome**

**Rating: T**

**Chapter Three: The Troublesome Woman**

_**Pre-Note: I don't know it any of you noticed, but I've been… sort of ignoring Asuma's death. I'm still coping with it, actually xD. But I thought it would be nice for Shikamaru to have a mentor throughout his tough times, ne?**_

_**Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter, I tried!**_

Shikamaru, a boy rarely overtaken by emotion, felt as if the dog of fate that was originally molesting his leg had just bitten it with zeal. He was about to explode.

"Pineapple Head!?!" he spat through gritted teeth.

"What the fuck did you do THAT for?!?"

She kneeled beside his bruised and sore head. "You know, crybaby, I never took you for the rapist type."

He groaned viciously and sat up the best he could. Trying to regain some sliver of dignity, he brushed himself off and rubbed his now even MORE sore shoulder. "That's because I'm not." he retorted rather lamely. He was so pissed off he didn't feel like coming up with yet another over-used quip.

Glaring, he managed to pull himself to his feet. On top of his previous mission's bruises, he now had several ribs that ached like hell, a swollen shoulder, and his head hurt where it had hit the ground. He wiped the blood off the palms of his hands.

"What a lovely way to greet your guide. Do you always push people off of ten foot walls when they've been waiting for you for a prolonged amount of time? So long that they could take a nap?"

Temari returned to her defensive hot-headed demeanor. "That's not really saying much, is it Nara…" It was a question, but wasn't posed as one.

He was doing something generous for her, and, as predicted, here she was making his troublesome life even more so. When all thoughts of his 'mission' evaporated, he pulled himself to his feet shakily.

"It's no wonder you don't have a boyfriend, the second someone lays a hand on you, they find have a kunai lodged in their spine." She scowled.

"At least men are interested in me, Nara."

"On the contrary, I'm quite glad men aren't interested in me."

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Or did you?"

"Nara, I don't have time for your petty insults."

"Petty now, are they?"

"…Yes…" she said brokenly.

Shikamaru rather liked this new vocal sparring method. He could press people's buttons by being lazy, and rather than coming up with insults of his own, he could turn their's against them.

"Hm, I think you found it rather offensive."

"I think you're wrong, smartass."

"Then why are you still fighting with me?"

"I WON'T LET YOU WIN, THAT'S WHY."

"Win what?"

"Damnit Nara, take me to my guide!"

"You did not deny my allegations that you are unable to obtain a boyfriend."

She was silent.

"I don't have to prove anything to YOU." She spat.

Shikamaru smirked. He had already won.

"Show me to my guide… NOW." She sure had recovered quick. "I'll tell the Kazekage your village was bad at providing a guide in sufficient time."

Shikamaru scowled and brushed off his butt. "Baka, I AM your guide."

She snorted. "As IF!" she started to laugh. But it was edgy and awkward, like she wasn't sure.

He crossed his arms. "I honestly don't have time for this. Will you just hurry up so we can get your seven-day visa signed?"

"After you take me to my guide."

"Look, I don't exactly enjoy the idea of entertaining you for a week either, but can we hurry up? I would like to get home in time for dinner."

"Mommy still cooks for you, Nara?"

"No, I live on my own, you troublesome woma-" he stopped. Why was it that the sand pain-in-the ass was the only one he called 'woman'?

"I _am_ your guide, so can we go now?"

Temari still didn't believe him. "Maybe my guide is waiting for me in the main office. Take me to get my visa signed, Nara."

"Yes your troublesome highness." He saluted her sarcastically and began to trudge behind the homicidal hormonal Suna tigress."

Why did _he_ have to be her goddamn tamer?

**XxxxX**

Shikamaru entered to Hokage's office. Jiraiya was in there.

"Oh hello Shikamaru, Miss Temari." She said absentmindedly, nodding to each one.

Jiraiya was standing next to the Hokage's desk with the woman from the pastry shop Shikamaru had visited earlier that morning. The two chuunin being in her office didn't seem to compel her to discontinue her conversation.

"No! Absolutely not, Jiraiya!" she cried. "There is no way I'm going to marry you two!" An exasperated sigh escaped the corner of her mouth. "The poor thing, she looks like you got her drunk out of her mind!"

As some sort of assurance, the girl hiccupped.

"What's your name, sweetie?" she asked the girl. "Enkai maaaaam." She held the 'a' longer than necessary. "Do you want to marry Jiraiya-sama?" she asked.

"Who?"

Tsunade called the servant Shikamaru had been harassing the day before in. "Please find out where she lives and take her home." The man shot a dark look at the Nara boy before escorting Enkai out.

She turned to her former teammate. "You wait outside until I'm done, you hear me, Jiraiya?" He slumped over. "You ruin all my fun Tsun-y."

"Don't call me that." She spat as the infamous pervert-sannin closed the door behind him."

Tsunade's face suddenly turned cheerful- another frightening emotion of the Hokage's to add to his list.

"Sorry about that!" she folded her hands on her desk. "Welcome to Konoha miss Temari. I trust your brother is doing well?"

'_It depends on what she means by well…'_ Temari thought to herself.

"Very, he sends his regards to you, Hokage-sama." She pulled her visa out of her bag. Shikamaru stood at the back of the room and crossed his arms.

'_It's amazing she possesses any social tact and manners at all.'_ He thought to himself as he watched Tsunade sign the visa.

"There you are." The hokage handed Temari a yellow piece of paper. "You're staying in the Konoha visitor's building. Your guide will show you there."

"Oh yes!" Temari remembered. "When will he or she be here?"

Tsunade frowned. "Didn't he show you here?"

Temari shook her head. "No, I thought he would."

"Well why ever didn't he?" Tsunade stared pointedly at Shikamaru.

"I was wondering the same thing myself…" Temari looked a bit aggravated.

"Well, lucky for you, you'll be able to ask him that question personally." She motioned to the corner where Shikamaru was brooding.

'_That's funny, I didn't hear anyone come in… Maybe I was distracted. No matter.' _Temari thought, turning around. She'd forgive him if he was handsome.

"Why are **YOU** still here?" she asked with contempt dripping from every syllable.

"Because, you damn troublesome woman, I **AM** your guide!!"

It was then that Temari realized for a moment she had mistaken Shikamaru Nara for a handsome guide.

**XxxxX**

Temari felt as though she had lost all will to live. Of course, with no incentive (like he could change her mood! HAH!) whatsoever, Shikamaru reverted back to his normal, lazy-ass bitchy attitude.

Temari moaned. "Did you hear Tsunade laughing? She thinks this is _FUNNY_" she complained.

"You think that's bad? Frankly, I proffered it when she wasn't so blatant. Damned troublesome lady."

Temari stopped. "Now, wait a second." She paused. "How 'come you call her a troublesome lady, but I'm always a-" she paused, and brought out the dopiest impression of him possible.

"troublesome woman?"

There she went again. Just when he thought maybe he could take her to the Konoha Guest building with no problems…

He rolled his eyes and dug his hands into the loose pockets of his pants. "Why do you care, damned troublesome wo-" he stopped. "female?"He finished, smirking.

"Hope that made you feel special." He remarked sarcastically.

"Very much so, thanks Crybaby Nara."

Shikamaru reflected a moment on what his dad would think if he heard a woman calling a Nara man a crybaby to his face.

They reached the building. "Your room's on the fourth floor. Now leave me alone."

"And stop flirting." He added as an afterthought.

The guests in room 34 were particularly frightened when they heard what sounded like a whole clan of rabid rhinos stomping up the stairs.

**XxxxX**

Feeling rather triumphant, Shikamaru decided maybe he could get in some cloud watching before the sun set and he had to go back to his apartment. Shikamaru rarely cooked, but he didn't appreciate the idea of having all of Konoha's men asking questions about what Temari was like in bed.

For god's sake, who _STARTED_ these rumors?

Instead of his normal spot, he chose a post-mission spot of the hillside he had been on the day before. Didn't people normally get days off after completing tiresome and not to mention troublesome missions? He closed his eyes and managed to think of nothing for a few minutes. It was just him, and the clouds, and…Temari.

His thoughts were straying in an undesirable direction.

There was once a time when Shikamaru was convinced that hormones were a 'girl' thing. That men didn't feel ridiculous desires, they could control their feelings, and wouldn't have to go through all that extra work to suppress all those damned feelings.

Over the years since he had become the only in his class to graduate the Chuuin Exam, he had learned to hone that skill to his personal male benefit. The first feelings he had ever felt towards a girl was that of his teammate, Ino. He had begun to notice how over the years, she had developed a more womanly figure, and had warm eyes and a round face. As he had told Chouji once, he rather preferred women who were stacked.

And then he met Jiraiya, and forgot all about his feelings for women. He didn't want to turn out like Konoha's best pervert.

As strange, annoying, and troublesome as it was, he had to admit Temari looked more like her age now. What was she now… 19? He had never really visualized her as… a woman. She was not longer just his most annoying sparring partner, or the woman that felt the need to kick his ass on a regular basis.

And that was when he realized why he called her troublesome woman, rather than lady, or girl.

**HE** had watcher her grow, in the most annoying way (As it often is when you watch someone older than you get smarter). He saw her once a year on a social basis maybe, any more than that and it was just a glimpse in the street as she made her way to the Hokage's office.

But every time he saw her, she was older. Different. Definitely not more mature, but she wasn't a troublesome older girl that picked on him anymore. She was a plain, old, troublesome woman. Perhaps it was subconscious, but he decided this 'troublesome woman' thing had to stop. Eventually, she would catch on and assume … things.

Shikamaru had finally come to the conclusion that men…maybe even more than women… definitely possessed hormones, in the most literal sense.

**XxxxX**

The rest of the night, Temari couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps that Nara boy had been on to something. Maybe she just automatically went into flirt mode around men.

Because, no matter how much it stung, he was right about her love life (or lack thereof).

The Konoha's Guest building was nice, sort of resembling an apartment-like hotel. It was designed for guests that came to Konoha, like liaisons, traders, and the such. She was happy she just didn't have to pay for it.

But because it was free, there was no food- anywhere. After Temari had unpacked, she was so hungry, it wasn't even funny. She had realized, long ago, that she wasn't built like those skinny little anorexic bitches the men of Konoha seemed to adore so much… like Haruno Sakura… she was built more for fighting, with a womanly figure that still allowed for nice muscle toning. She didn't feel the need to go on a diet and ruin all her finely tuned muscles.

The point was, when the princess of Suna needed food… she needed food!

Temari left the Konoha guest building at sunset, around 6'o'clock and wandered around a bit. Konoha hadn't changed much since she had last been there. All her favorite food stalls were still there. She strayed towards the forest and found a barbecue place. She had never been here before! And barbecue sounded wonderfully hearty at that moment.

She walked inside and got a table for herself. Feeling rather lonely in the four-person booth all by herself, she ordered pork and rice, not feeling like anything else at the moment. When her meat came, she lightly set the strips of meat on the barbecue with her chopsticks.

She sat for what seemed like hours (which in reality was only minutes) watching her meat sizzle, then turning it over to get the other side well done. She leaned over the table feeling sleepy. She really had had a stressful day, what with beating up her alleged rapist, being assigned to the pineapple-headed crybaby Nara, and getting accused of flirting- which she most definitely **_WASN'T_**.

There was suddenly a hoarse, yet cheerful voice behind her. "So, have you killed him yet?"

She whipped around, glaring.

Wait a second…

Wasn't that Shikamaru's sensei?

**XxxxX** END OF CHAPTER **XxxxX**

**Author's Noteh:**

Well, here is yet again another chapter of Taming the Troublesome. I fear that the first chapters were so funny, witty, and entertaining that as I get into the plot (which I really have no further plans for, HELPMEH) I'm going to lose readers. Every time I write a chapter, I feel like it gets worse and worse. HOWVER, I don't want to let you down! If you have a suggestion or comment, I reply personally to every review! I apologize if you guys are getting annoyed with side characters constantly poking their way in, but I hope that eventually they can act like mentors for the poor, dysfunctional couple. Also, I'm sorry I'm so slow with the chapter releases. I just have so much schoolwork. I'll keep it to at least one a week if I can. We're going to Idaho for Thanksgiving, so maybe I can get two chapters done then. Heart! **Troublesome Natto **


	4. A Better Relationship

**Taming The Troublesome**

**Rating: T**

**Chapter Four: A Better Relationship **

_Hey! I'm pretty convinced that hates me. So if any of you have sent me personal messages in the past two weeks, they haven't reached me, because FF is a bitch! I couldn't log in earlier tonight… anyways, email me (email's on my profile)with any personal messages you have for me, or ones that didn't get sent. Sorry!_

_I've had this chapter done since Friday... grr. _

_Stupid won't let me upload chapters, so I stoled Oku-San's technique. I exported a chapter, edited it, and re-used it. FANKIES! _

**XxxxX **

"The name's Sarutobi." He extended a hand towards a rather shocked Temari.

"Doesn't ring a bell." She said rather rudely.

Asuma laughed throatily, throwing his head back and closing his eyes.

_'Man this guy is fucked up _' thought Temari, scowling.

When he had regained his composure, he sighed heavily. "I'm Nara Shikamaru's sensei. Asuma. And your treatment towards utter strangers further proves my assumption that you're the Kazekage's older sister, Temari."

_'He likes to hear himself talk doesn't he? Asshole, I treat weird strangers how they deserve to be treated._' She thought.

So she WAS right. This man, with his rugged unkempt beard, and a compulsive smoking habit was Nara's sensei. _'I wonder how screwed up the rest of his team is…' _

"Do you mind if I join you for a second?" he asked, sitting down across from her. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

"That's kind of creepy."

He laughed again.

"Yes, I'll admit, that sounded strange. But … I want to talk about the next seven days with you."

"This should be exciting." She rested her cheek in her hand and took the meat she had been cooking earlier off the barbecue. The last thing Temari of the Sand wanted was to talk about pineapple head with his sensei.

Asuma ordered his own platter of mixed meats and they sat in awkward silence for a short while. When his plate came, the silence was broken by the light sizzling of meat.

"You are here to talk to me, aren't you?" Temari found this whole situation troublesome. …Wait a second… did she just say troublesome?

Asuma appeared to have a difficult time finding where to start. "So, we are both agreed you aren't exactly the best of friends, correct?"

"Understatement of the year."

His laugh was getting on her nerves.

"I suppose that much was evident." He paused, deciding to cut to the chase, "But there's something you need to understand about that lazy-ass boy. He's the smartest man in Konoha. You, yourself should remember when he was the **ONLY** one to graduate the chuunin exams your first year. And then the second year, he was the one giving **YOU** the exam."

"Yeah, that was pretty aggravating." She agreed, not wanting to remember that.

"Well, I'll bet, seeing as neither one of you can handle authority."

"That's not-"

"Don't waste your breath. I'd be annoyed too if my little brother was the Kazekage of Suna."

Temari made a growling noise in the back of her throat.

"Don't bring him into this. **HE** has _NOTHING_ to do with this."

"Oh, but he does! Gaara has everything to do with this. HE is the root of all your problems. Not poor old Shikamaru."

Temari stood up and grabbed the front of his vest roughly, his cigarette askew.

"Who do you think you are – " she thrust her face into his. "Waltzing in as though you've got me figured out. Calling my brother the source of Crybaby's goddamned attitude. I didn't ask for a physiological analysis, thank you very much." Temari wasn't thankful.

There he was again with the laugh!

"I think I must have hit a nerve."

"Damned straight."

She let go of his vest violently sitting stiffly back in her seat, tearing animalisticly at her poor barbecued meat.

Hell had no wrath like that of Suna's Tigress.

"I'm trying not to pick a fight here…" Asuma continued after a moment of straightening himself out, and chewing on a piece of beef, "But I set him up to the job of your guide."

Her eyes flashed dangerously. It sure sounded like he wanted a fight.

"And before you fly off the handle, let me tell you why. You… are one, if not THE, most difficult person for him to deal with."

"Good."

"No, but you see, he's got this idea that it's YOUR fault he can't deal with you. That it's impossible for you guys to have a nice relationship."

Temari didn't like that word. Relationship… was he trying to set the two up? **DREAM ON! **

"And by relationship, I mean some kind of mentality you share that doesn't exist of sarcastic and often rabid conversations."

Thinking about it for a moment, Temari realized they never really even had conversations- they were more like battles of wit.

"I know." She answered.

"But do you? He is, after all, a boy…"

"I don't have any feelings for little Nara boy, ya hear me?"

So he WAS trying to set them up… screw with her brain a little.

"What a shame, I always thought you two were perfect for each other…" he mumbled to himself.

"Hey, buster, you wanna die? My brother's the Kazekage, and-"

"Getting back on subject," Asuma interrupted, "I want to reiterate how difficult this is for him. Especially since you aren't exactly easy to interact with. But… he needs to learn that being lazy when interacting with other people, females in particular, has the exact opposite affect he hopes for."

He paused to chew.

"I want you to help him. Nobody will even notice, it can be our little secret." He smirked and put out his cigarette in the ashtray next to him. "And remember, the peace of Konoha and Suna lies in your hands."

Temari reflected on that for a moment. If she were to return a negative report, ties could dissolve between the two villages, and even war could develop. If she returned a positive report, Konoha would send a liaison over, and they'd go from there. How… interesting.

"I want you to treat this like a mission."

"Oh, so now you give me orders? I don't think so, Sarutobi."

"Asuma."

"Whatever."

Asuma paused, and lit another cigarette.

"Just out of curiosity, what did Gaara say to you just before you left?"

"Why does it matter?"

"I'm just wondering."

There was a moment of hesitation, in which Temari decided no one ever asked about her interaction with Gaara. It was sort of nice to have a haphazard confident.

"He told me to behave, and bring back an accurate report."

"Behave, eh?"

"Shut up. You don't know Gaara."

"No, you're right, I don't. But that just gave me a window into his personality."

He stood up, and dropped some money on the table.

"Well, I'd better get going, I just wanted to talk to you about your guide. I really trust that Shikamaru is capable of changing your opinion. Or maybe even I changed your opinion."

Temari shrugged. "If my opinion of Nara changed it all, it was just that now he sounds incredibly weak." She grinned evilly.

A pause.

"You're a tough woman, Temari."

She had no idea how to take that comment.

**XxxxX **

The next day began quietly.

Shikamaru, scared of both Temari and the Hokage's wrath, meant to arrive at the Konoha Guest building on time, but it had looked like it was going to rain, so he had gone back inside and grabbed an umbrella.

Then, of course, he only intended to sit for a short second, but ended up falling asleep on his couch. By the time he had woken up, it was 11:30, and the farmer's market was closing in an hour. "SHIT!" he cried, rushing around frantically to find his umbrella, only to find it hooked into the waistband of his pants. Casting it aside, he rushed out the door.

Villagers everywhere preformed double takes as a black streak that resembled a Nara man pelted through the town at top speed.

As Shikamaru banged up the stairs like an Akimichi on crack, the very same Konoha visitors decided to file a complaint- these damn guests were too loud!

Without even thinking about it, when he reached her room, he threw the door open. There was a quiet muffled groan coming from the bedroom. He was out of breath as a tired-looking Temari came out of the room with her hair down. Shikamaru looked up slowly. The girl was a mess, her makeup smudged, her hair in misshaped tufts, PJs, no bra under her nightshirt …

It took a second to register in his slightly distracted mind.

"Wait… you were…sleeping?"

Her eyes widened. "What time is it? Why are you in my room! Go away!" she cried feebly, trying to shield her face, and at the same time her chest. It wasn't working.

"You were _SLEEPING_?" he repeated, growing increasingly angry. Though, really, he was one to talk.

He needed an excuse to get mad at her ONCE in a while.

"Go away!" she cried, rushing into her room and slamming the door.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE SLEEPING THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!" he screamed through the door. He banged his fist through it. And then instantly regretted it when she stuck her head out. She must have seen a clock, or SOMETHING.

"I can't believe you're an hour late!" she screamed right back at him. "I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Shikamaru suddenly found a large gust of wind wedging itself into his gut and throwing him backwards.

"Bitch!" he hissed right as his back hit the wall. He quickly pulled three shuriken out of his leg weapons case and threw them at her with deadly accuracy. Two thunked into the wall by her ears and one snagged her sleeve a little.

With rage that could only come from Suna's Tigress, she swung the butt of the fan at his head, and hit the wall, plaster scuttling to odd corners of the room.

"Stop it!" The Nara boy shouted, dashing across the room. "Who's going to pay for the damages?" he hucked a kunai at her and missed completely. It hit the door frame and shivered there for a moment.

Silence.

"You know, we really should get going, the market closes in 45 minutes. Any more delay, and you'd have to stay an extra day." Shikamaru turned around to get her response, and found she had shut herself in her room. Damn troublesome woman.

He sat on the couch and waited impatiently as sounds of Temari taking a shower and quickly getting dressed drifted out into the living room. This place was pretty well furnished, with a full kitchen and what appeared to be a large master bedroom.

When she finally came out, after what seemed like hours (and was only about fifteen minutes- remarkable for a woman), he immediately grabbed her hand and dragged her out the door.

"I'm not normally - okay, NEVER - one to rush, but we really gotta go, or the whole day will go down the drain. And I'm seriously not going to prolong this mission anymore than I have to."

_'Funny. He called it a mission, just like his sensei. Could we have had the same lecture?_' she thought.

They rushed out of the building and outside, where their pace slowed as they got closer to the market.

"You can let go of my hand now, Nara." Temari managed to be totally deadpan. It was fun to mess with younger boys, even if it was only by a few years.

Shikamaru blushed to himself and let go of her warm hand.

Silence.

Then the bustling market came into view, late shoppers going along, not really caring if the stands were going to close soon.

Temari took out an official looking notepad and looked around. Shikamaru took his cue as she looked at the first stand they came to. He tried to remember all those facts he had memorized a few nights before.

"The Konoha market exists mostly for the promotion of local crops and crafts. Every Saturday-"

She picked up an eggplant. "What are you doing?" he asked, irked that his long speech was interrupted. He had memorized all those boring, useless facts….

"They don't have these in Suna. What is it, some kind of big plum?"

"It's an eggplant, they taste sort of like zucchini."

"Oh."

"Anyways, every Saturday, the farmers and craftsmen of Konoha gather to sell products, such as produce, like fruits ad vegetables, customized weaponry, jewelry, and sometimes even-"

Temari had stopped again and was looking at some apples. "Do you grow these here?" she asked the woman behind the stand.

Shikamaru growled. "Why don't you ask ME? I'M your guide."

"Shut up, Nara."

The woman began to tell Temari all about the process of growing apples, and how selection was very important. Temari took notes on everything the woman said, listening intently. Shikamaru turned his back to her and looked across the way at a man who made some nice-looking obsidian kunais.

He was brought out of his annoyed slump when someone tapped him on the back. "Don't get jealous or anything, Nara." Temari whispered in his ear. Wow, his hormones were on the fritz today. He couldn't even come up with a witty remark.

"I'm not jealous, idiot, I just spent a lot of time last night and the night before preparing for today. I could have told you how apples were grown, and what sort of climate they needed, etc."

"Oh could you now?"

"Yes, I could."

"Firsthand?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Now you know why I didn't ask you."

"…"

"…"

"Shut up."

"No."

She continued on down the street, occasionally picking up produce and asking what it was, because a lot of things couldn't be grown in the hot Suna climate.

Even though it was annoying, Shikamaru was mildly amused at her apparent interest in such trivial things. _'She must not get out much at home,'_ he thought to himself.

A sort of appreciation rose within him.

Shikamaru thought those brief moments he had to spend within 10 feet of Gaara were bad… she lived with him… no! She was RELATED to him. She had to show him love and affection even if he didn't deserve it at times. Deep down, she probably loved Gaara, but taking orders from him with an attitude like that…

So, as it turned out, he really didn't have to talk that much.

Until he heard a strangely familiar voice.

"Oh Shika-kun! You have finally come back for me!"

A body hit his rather violently, and engulfed him in a spine-shattering hug. Blonde hair… gay mentality…

...No…it couldn't be…

KANO!

And as if being hugged and then kissed by Hidden Waterfall's own Gay Shinobi wasn't bad enough, the look on Temari's face surpassed all electrical sockets and hairdryers in bathtubs within Fire Country.

"Nice."

**XxxxX** END OF CHAPTER **XxxxX **

**Author's Noteh: **

I know you're all sitting there groaning the same thing … 'Not an OC…'

And yes, Kano is in face an OC. But other than his involvement in the next chapter, maybe the one after that, he won't become a main character.

In case you were wondering, Kano, under special curmustances which will be explained in the next chapter has a permanent visa in Konoha. He'll help you learn about allies

And you can flame Kano all you want.

HEART! **Troublesome Natto**


	5. The Flip Side

**Taming The Troublesome**

**Rating: T**

**Chapter Five: The Flip Side**

_Of you haven't read the author's notes up to this point, now would be the time to start, bitchez._

_**THIS CHAPTER TOTALLY DISREGARDS THE NARUTO OAV #2**_

_(or whichever number it was)_

_However, I used the name Shibiki, because that's what they called the hidden waterfall village._

**XxxxX**

A long moment of boy-on-boy action (as one sided as it was) passed before the shock faded from the poor Suna Tigress.

And she felt totally betrayed by her heart as the biggest wave of jealousy possible washed over her, melting her bones, and making her chest clench painfully. A heat arose in her that she convinced herself was just anger.

Shikamaru was screwing around with boys on the job!

A few moments of struggling ensued.

And then, with just as much shock as before, Temari realized Shikamaru was helpless, evading more open-mouthed kisses from the taller blonde gay-vegetable stand owner.

She felt a little sorry for him. He was in a deep state of mental shock, and didn't appear as if he was able to move the limbs that could easily carry him away from the Konoha market.

In a sudden surge of sympathy, the kunoichi stuck the butt of her fan in between their faces. Kano reluctantly let go.

"Hey, what's up with this blonde bitch?! I didn't know you were bi Shika-chan."

"I'm not." Shikamaru spat, wiping Kano's saliva off his face and mouth.

But there was no need, for Temari had the gay shinobi by his collar.

"You wanna say that again?"

"What part? The part about Shika-chan-"

"Don't call me that!" the pissed Nara boy interjected.

"Shika-kun-"

"Call me Shikamaru, or I'll beat your ass!"

Now the blonde shinobi found himself with two angry citizens on his collar.

Kano held his hands up in front of his chest in resignation. "Hey, hey, chill! Can't a ninja have some fun around here?"

"If fun includes you shoving your tongue down Crybaby's throat, no."

"Oh, you don't care about that, you just want us to hurry up so you can go home." Shikamaru turned to the woman he was supposed to be showing around the market (which was closing up…).

Temari was caught off guard. Figures that the one time she showed sympathy towards the lazy-ass Nara, he insulted her.

She released Kano.

"Fine then, Kano, you can have him." She said loftily. "I have no use for him."

Kano was about to leap back at the love of his life, whne the back of his shirt was seized by a fish-netted hand.

"Not so fast, Kano. You don't want another warning from Tsunade, do you?"

"Oh, you ruin all my fun, Kai." He moaned, pulling a puppy dog pout that looked rather ridiculous on someone his age.

Something clicked inside Temari, as she looked up at the girl.

"Hey!" she whispered to Shikamaru, forgetting all about the fact that she was pissed off at him.

"Wasn't that the girl Jiraiya tried to marry?"

It took a second to register, but Shikamaru slowly nodded.

"Yeah, you're right, it is!" he said, scratching the back of his head, and shifting his weight backwards.

The girl in question walked up looking awkward. "Hey, sorry about all this. Kano has been a bit rabid lately."

"You have too, Kai! Don't act all innocent, Ms. Tried-to-marry-Jiraiya-sama."

Kai whipped around and shot Kano a death glare.

"HE got me drunk, and you know it. I couldn't even remember who he was!"

Temari snorted. "I'm sure. With knockers like that, who knows?"

Kai whipped around once more to face the blonde Suna Tigress.

"I wouldn't be talking." She drew close to Temari, her face still cheerful, but venom laced through her voice like veins.

"While I may have melons on my chest, I still manage to keep them there. Who knows what the state of the melons in your head are? Come on, Kano."

She whipped around, and dragged Kano off to help her take down HIS stand.

"I'll miss you, Shika Chan!" he called.

After they were out of earshot, Temari just about burst.

"BITCH PLEASE?!?" she shouted, shattering Shikamaru's eardrums. He put his hands over his ears and winced feebly.

"What the hell was up with that last comment? It didn't even make sense!" she started ranting, not even noticing that Shikamaru had walked away.

It was a few more obscenity-packed sentences, before she realized he had left her all alone with the packing villagers.

"Dammit Nara, come back here!"

**XxxxX**

"So what was up with that Kano dude?" Temari asked, as they sat in a lesser-known ramen stall.

"I don't want to talk about it."

There was silence.

Then a snort.

And a chuckle.

"It wasn't funny." The younger boy complained dully.

"Yes it was! You totally were participating in lip-on-lip action!"

"But not willingly! I _don't_ like men!"

"Yeah whatever."

"Believe what you want, troublesome woman. If it elevates the fantasies you have about me every night to know I like men-"

She thwapped him on the back of the head.

"Don't finish that sentence, or I'll kick your ass into next week, Nara."

"Yeah, whatever." He mocked in a high girly voice. Mature. _Very_ mature.

Another hit.

Silence.

"Didn't you say Kano was foreign?"

"I didn't say it, no."

"Well then, who did? I didn't know there were people from another village living in Konoha. I'm sure Gaara would like to hear this."

She added the last part as a threat, knowing this could be the secret that corked some of Konoha's dark past- if they had one, that is.

Shikamaru put his chin in his hands. "This is really annoying to have to tell you all this."

"Not troublesome?" Temari asked after a moment.

"No. Troublesome is for petty things, like you and this whole guide job."

Temari didn't even bother to whack him. This was getting pretty interesting… she ordered a bowl of Pork and Leek ramen, and sat back while he let this new enigma unfold.

**XxxxX**

"There's something you have to understand about Konoha. Except for certain clans making alliances with other clans and countries, there were only ever temporary agreements. They've mostly all been cut off, or like the Hyuuga clan's, ended in a bang, or murder."

"Not to say that we don't have enemies, but Konoha just doesn't ever take the huge step in trust it requires to form a peace alliance."

Temari didn't blame him, Suna hadn't always been the most trustworthy village in the world.

"However, there are some things we don't broadcast to the entire universe as well."

Temari could tell he felt uneasy telling her all this. He, after all, didn't have consent from the Hokage, and if the delicate thread of peace between Suna and Konoha was severed, it would be his fault. He could even end up exiled. She felt kind of bad threatening him.

"It's just…" he said after a long pause. "I don't want this to get back to your brother, who takes it the wrong way, and declares full-out war on Konoha."

There really wasn't anything Temari could say to console or convince him.

Yet, somehow, there must have been an almost invisible thread of trust that bound them together. Because Shikamaru decided telling one of Konoha's secrets to the Kazekage's sister would be… well… it would be okay. Maybe even enjoyable… in some sort of strictly platonic way.

"Kano, Kai, Hikaru, and a few others… they're taking refuge in Konoha." He said quietly. Two bowls of ramen were set down in front of them at the most unlucky time.

"They were born and trained in Shibiki, or Hidden Waterfall."

There was no way he could eat after dropping a bomb like that.

Temari, at first, was a bit shocked. But as she thought about it, she began to wonder what the big deal was.

"It isn't as though we're at war or anything with waterfall… it's just…"

She sighed. Again with the reluctance. He needed to work on his storytelling skills.

"Shibiki fell… and the way of Shinobi was outlawed."

Temari was shocked. First of all, she wasn't even aware Shibiki was under any sort of political stress. She had a million questions to ask, but figured they'd probably be inappropriate at a time like this.

"It sounds horrible doesn't it? The fall of a village, and then on top of it, defending your recovery of your village's still fetal state has become outlawed." He smiled sadly.

"I wasn't there, but I heard a group of young shinobi came to the previous hokage for help. I was only a little kid of course; I was at the academy at the time. Turns out Konoha is the closest safe place for them to turn to, what with all the political tension that went on."

He paused, trying to decide which details were necessary to add in, and which weren't.

"They were granted a visa, just like you, but the hokage never put expiration on it, he just gave them a pass. So technically, they're not citizens. Not now anyways. They had already had training of their own, and strived to continue it with the few interested shinobi they had brought with them to Konoha."

Shikamaru took a sip of tea.

"That was years, and years ago. Tsunade knew this when she took the post of Hokage, but I imagine she doesn't really think about it any more. Nobody ever asks."

He shrugged, and then a rare smile tickled at his features.

"You're the first one."

The smile was replaced by a groan.

"Though, it just proves how troublesome of a woman you are, you're the only one to ask a dumb enough question."

"It wasn't dumb, it was a serious matter."

"I know…"

Silence.

"So now what? I mean, what does this have to do with Kano?"

"Everything. The only still existing shinobi team of Shibiki is Kano's: Kano, Hikaru, Enkai. All the other waterfall shinobi we've taken in have decided not to pursue the idea of becoming a shinobi for another village. Wouldn't blame them, it's a fundamentally fruitless mission."

"Kano's pretty remarkable, though, most of the time, he doesn't seem it. His whole team, by Konoha standards, ranks Chunin. They've managed that all on their own, with a desire to rebuild their village."

"That's ridiculous!" Temari cried out. "It's been outlawed! A team of chunin can't take back their own country!"

"That's where your wrong, you hot headed pain-in-the-ass. They have help now. The previous hokage believed long ago, and I'm sure Tsunade does now… having Shibiki rebuilt by the best friends of Konoha is an incredibly smart idea. Ready-made alliances. It's genius."

"That's foul, Shikamaru. Konoha's tricking the poor chunin, they have no clue what they're getting themselves into!" a sudden contempt for Konoha arose within Temari. Tricking kids was not something she had ever appreciated. Enduring all that trickery shit as a child…

"Wrong again, Temari. They know _EXACTLY_ what they're getting themselves into. They're grateful to Konoha. Who wouldn't be? They were taken in to help foster their dream, and refine their skill. Turning their back and doing nothing would be foul. On their part, not ours."

Temari suddenly understood the main motive- and that was to encourage peace with other villages. Not an alliance with a struggling village run by passionate kids.

"Wow… actually… that's really cool." She admitted slowly. "I didn't know you guys could be so friendly."

"There's a lot Suna doesn't know about Konoha. That's why you're here, isn't it?"

He gave her a mildly amused smirk. Something in the back of her stomach fluttered. She swatted at it with an electric bug zapper.

"So what does this have to do with peace alliances exactly?" she asked after a moment of swatting.

"Everything of course."

"You keep saying that, but I still don't get it."

"That's because you're a dumbass."

"Whatever. No, really, why?"

"Because it just goes to show you how honest and friendly Konoha can be."

A long silence filled the nearly-empty ramen shop.

"Yeah, but there's a flip side to that story, Nara."

"What's that?" he asked vaguely, not really caring either way.

"That Konoha can be incredibly sneaky as well."

She slid off her stool. "Thanks for the ramen, squirt."

She kissed him on the cheek and left the stand, blushing to herself.

The peck on his cheek didn't even begin to register. The Nara boy was too busy realizing the reason why Tsunade hadn't wanted him to tell the whole thing to Gaara's little birdy.

**XxxxX** END OF CHAPTER **XxxxX**

**Author's Noteh:**

This chapter (though it may not have seemed like it) was the longest so far. I feel speshal.

Thank you for all 38 reviews I've received up to this point, every single one gives me another reason to keep writing this story

In case you haven't noticed, I've been posting a chapter every Friday. That's because I'm like Rock Lee, and I set almost impossible deadlines for myself ;;

If you notice any grammatical or spelling errors, or ad's that are supposed to be ands, feel free to PM me. I was reading over everything last night (and noticing how often I seem to contradict myself TTTT) and decided the first 2-3 chapters are going to get a re-sweep for simple grammatical errors. The second versions should be posted sometime this weekend.

Anyways, thanks for reading! I love you all so much it hearts.

HEART!

**Troublesome Natto**


	6. Ass plus Bacon equals 6

**Taming The Troublesome**

**Rating: T**

**Chapter Six: Ass + Bacon 6**

_I dunno if anyone notices, but I've been meeting my chapter deadlines this WHOLE TIME. I'm so proud of myself for enduring the torture that is a DEADLINE._

_Even though it isn't really…_

_**Shout out to Misa, who would have loved to eat bacon while looking at both Neji and Lee's asses.**_

Throughout the night, Shikamaru woke up at various, and totally random, times feeling nervous and antsy. The next day, he was supposed to take 'her' to Konoha Academy and take her around. And show that they were teaching some students from Waterfall.

A part he had previously omitted from the story, was that there were some young children that had been smuggled from Waterfall to train. Leaf hadn't done it themselves, Kano's team, Team S, had done it.

Excuses, conversations, scenarios, they all painted themselves in his mind in surprisingly vivid color. Temari, in her new, black kimono, and her bright red obi. How often did she switch outfits anyways?

It wasn't long before his thoughts strayed from the next day all together.

Women often tended to have that affect on him. It was three in the morning before he finally went to bed for good, discarded coffee cups left on the kitchen counter, little brown/gray rings mottling the sickeningly white tile.

His dreams were filled with strange swaths of cloth falling from the sky. He was on his usual hill, just sleeping, with the cloth falling softly on his face and hands.

Only Shikamaru would dream of sleeping.

The next morning, he actually managed to arrive at the Konoha Guest Building on time. Temari was still late. When he walked in, she was running back in forth between the kitchen and bedroom with nothing but a towel on.

There was something fragrant sizzling in the kitchen. Had Temari even noticed his presence? During one of her periods in the room, Shikamaru walked into the kitchen, only to find mouth-watering bacon sizzling. Seeing as Temari was stressed enough, he might as well help her out. Not getting help equaled more stress, which equaled MORE late.

And to think, in a great measure of peace, he was going to make her take him to breakfast.

He took the splatter guard off the pan, and picked some tongs up off the counter. Moving the slices around a bit, he went to the cupboard and looked for some plates. It was several tries before he finally found them over the sink. Taking a paper towel off the roll in the corner, he put it on the plate, and stacked the greasy bacon on a plate.

"Well aren't we just the little connoisseur?"

Temari was leaning against the frame of the door, still in her towel, and full makeup.

"Jesus!" Shikamaru whipped around and some of the bacon almost slid off the plate.

Temari caught it lightly in the palm of her hand.

"Watch it there, Nara."

Shikamaru took the bacon out of her hand defensively.

"Funny how you should be thanking me for finishing our breakfast, when actuality, you're right here insulting me."

"_OUR_ Breakfast?"

"Hey, you're too late at this point to be complaining."

"I stayed up late last night, all right?"

"I was up until three." He countered.

There was a pause.

"What were you –"

"How could you-"

They interrupted each other with the same question.

Shikamaru adopted an embarrassed scowl.

"Just hurry up and eat, so we can go."

"Don't you want me to get dressed?!"

"That's a stupid question."

He said it, yet, he wasn't quite sure in what way he meant it. This was all so troublesome. Why wouldn't she just put on some clothes so they could leave?

"I thought you were going to eat my breakfast." She said, pulling crisp bread out of the toaster.

She must have bought things on her way home last night.

Shikamaru crossed his arms and frowned, in his all too typical way. Shikamaru looked at the bacon on the plate. Its fragrance tickled his nostrils I an enticing sort of way. Oh, how he loved pig.

While Temari ('_Still on her towel, of course'_ Shikamaru noted.) buttered the toast, he grabbed a slice and took a bite. So crisp… so salty… so satisfying. Wow, did he really like bacon that much? Or was his enjoyment due in part to the fact that he couldn't help but eye her ass as he chewed?

Ass? Temari didn't have an ass!

As if!

"I'll do that, you hurry up and change." He mumbled, taking the knife from her.

"Picky, picky, picky." She mocked in a deep sort of voice.

Shikamaru, who had counted down to every second until his voice changed was not amused. He imagined he was spreading the butter all over her face.

… That was more kinky than he had intended …

She came back out fully dressed in her usual crap. Shikamaru had already sat down and was eating.

The next five minutes were spent in silence, only the sound of chewing, crunching, and the occasional sounds of a napkin being disturbed under the table.

And then that time came. The last slice of bacon.

They were both aware who had taken the second-to-last slice, and watched it out of the corners of their eyes.

There it sat, helpless, and cold, petrified like a rock on a plate. Temari stared at it for one long moment before reaching forward. Shikamaru surged forward at the slightest move of her hand, and their fingers clashed painfully at the knuckles in the middle.

Not to be outdone, Temari pulled her limp hand to her chest and reached with the other. Shikamaru copied her. No way was he going to let Temari win.

Both forgetting it was just a slice of bacon sparked a very powerful surge of eye contact, silent, but deadly, as their hands rested over each other's, Shikamaru's on the bottom, touching the bacon the most.

"It was mine. Look, my hand is on it."

"I saw it first!"

"NO, you did not! I've had my eye on it the whole time."

"Your eye AND your hand? As if, Nara."

"It's _mine_! Get your filthy hand off it!"

"_My_ kitchen!"

"_My_ building!"

"_My_ room!"

"_My_ village!"

"…"

"…"

"I'm a lady, ladies first!"

"I'm your unpaid guide. Payment? This slice will do fine."

"It's not my job to pay you Nara."

"Or **IS** it?" he smirked.

"No, it isn't." she replied, deadpan.

"You're making me late. This is your fault. _My_ bacon."

"No way! You just came too early."

"I CAME WHEN YOU TOLD ME TO!"

"I told you no such thing."

And then an idea sprung into Temari's mind. She took her hand off his and reached for the front of her kimono. Inserting a hand underneath one of the folds, she began to pull back the dark rim, exposing…

Shikamaru's hand flew off the bacon faster than Naruto could swallow the egg dregs at the bottom of a ramen bowl. Both his hands were permanently glued to his eye sockets, covering them from any disturbing content.

When he realized what she had done, it was too late. The bacon was disappearing behind her lips, her head cocked and her eyes coy.

"Serves you right, you little twerp."

"Stop calling me little…" he mumbled. "Come on, we have to go." He stood up, walking out of the kitchen and to the door.

"Class started an hour ago at Konoha Academy."

"Do you guys wear cute little uniforms?"

"Do YOUR guys?"

"No."

"Then _that_ was a stupid question."

Temari grabbed her mutant fan and they left the building, walking across town. There were two people.

One looked quite amused with herself.

One looked at the other like she was the most troublesome creature ever.

**XxxxX**

When they arrived, they went through the front door, since all the kids were inside learning how to be hyperactive little Shinobi.

As they passed the main classroom, Temari peeked in and smirked. All the little kids in a college-like setting getting a lecture from their enthusiastic Iruka-Sensei…

"Wow, all these kids are cute." She marveled, fogging up the glass on the door with her muted whisperings.

Shikamaru stopped and looked back.

"What? Oh. Yeh. Come on, hurry up, we're late."

"For what? Aren't you just supposed to show me around? I mean, tell me about what they're learning."

From her leg holster she drew her small notebook again.

"Well, to give you a brief synopsis, children are trained in ninjutsu and taijutsu primarily to a genin level. Any special jutsus, curses, and the like aren't dealed with by Iruka. The hokage can decide what to do with the students in special cases, or their team captains can."

Temari jotted a few notes.

"Nothing illegal? Secret army? Secret Konoha Jutsu?"

"You think if there was one I'd tell you? The Black Ops would have you executed before you left the village, and I'd be exiled."

"I know, just a little something to maybe perhaps dislodge that stick from your ass."

"Didn't work."

"As I can rightly see."

Shikamaru explained more and more about different types of phases and training the genin went through.

"And you know what kind of stuff the Chunin Exams are made of." He added.

That was something Temari would have proffered he didn't talk about. Shikamaru had been the exam proctor for Test #1 the year Temari took and passed the Chunin Exams. It hadn't really seemed to haze him, but it bothered her deeply. That tight-assed little lazy son-of-a-bitch had surpassed her on the most embarrassing of levels. In smarts, perhaps skill, and on top of that, he had helped _HER_ earn the privilege of becoming a Chunin.

"Yeah." She replied, deadpan.

"Are you going to help this year? With the Chunin Exams, I mean." He thrust his hands into his pockets as she went back to looking at the little kids, who were aching for a lunch break.

Sighing, he sat on a bench in the hallway.

"I don't know, depends on what Gaara has me do."

"…" Shikamaru decided to ask her something. "Does it… ever annoy you? I mean, having your younger brother boss you around."

Temari shot him a death glare.

"What does it matter to you?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. It would annoy _me_."

Silence.

"More than you can imagine." She joined him on the bench.

"I'm older. I think I'm wiser… I've never really had the chance to be a sister to Gaara."

"That wouldn't bother me. The less time with Gaara, the better." Shikamaru was just glad she wasn't asking about those little kids with 'New Shibiki' armbands on.

"Yeah, but…" she took off her fan and leaned it against the wall. "He's my brother, you know? I have to love him – I WANT to love him. But, it's hard when I can't ever get him to talk to me."

The Suna Tigress was suddenly soft and sad. Her mood had switched faster than a traffic light. PMS? Maybe she had needed someone to confide in. Come to think of it, did she even have any friends? Back at Suna? It sure seemed like she had wanted to say this stuff for the longest time.

Shikamaru found it hard to participate. While it was easy to sympathize, it was extremely hard to say he knew. Never having had siblings, he didn't know what it was like to love someone closer to your age.

Or… did he?

"I just want to get through to him. Tell him that if he ever needs me, he can ask."

Another long pause filled the hallway after that comment, the last part of her sentence echoing dully.

"Wow, even for you, Temari, that was really sweet…"

Their eyes met for a fond moment, Shikamaru's face tickled by a small smile.

Temari found herself voluntarily leaning towards him, closing the small space between their faces.

Shikamaru was suddenly nervous, yet eerily calm. All was silence as the Kunoichi –

"AT LAST! LUNCH TIME!"

A little kid burst out of the door, as many more followed, screaming and squealing.

"EEEEEEW!" one cried, "You were gonna KISS her!"

"Oh my gosh! For real?!"

"Yeah, their eyes were closed and everything."

Shikamaru hadn't remembered closing his eyes…

"Were their mouths open?"

"Eeeew, Yuki, you know that's gross!"

"Nuh uh! I bet they're in love."

"Or he's just using her for mindless sex."

"Omaru! Don't talk about things like that in school! Or anywhere for that matter!" The sound of an older man was heard, as he stuck his head out of the classroom.

The two Shinobi were too close to have not been about to do something.

Iruka coughed. "Come along now, children, go have your lunchtime."

Omaru mouthed the word 'sex' to a poor blushing Shikamaru as he walked off with his friends.

"We weren't doing anything! We were just sitting here, and-"

"He's showing me around, and-"

"And we were about to talk to you about-"

"About some stuff!" Temari finished, sliding away from Shikamaru, and falling off the bench.

The rest of that day was turning out to be humorously awkward.

**XxxxX**

As they left the building, at about 3:00, with all the kids streaming out around them, Shikamaru scowled.

"What did you have to go and do that for?"

"Do what?"

"Kiss me!"

"I didn't kiss you!"

"You _ALMOST_ did!"

"I did not! I was… about to fall asleep!"

"On my face..?"

"…"

"…"

"What's it to yah, Nara?"

"…"

"…"

"I bet you're disappointed I didn't kiss you."

"Whatever." He mumbled, leaving in the direction of his house.

As he walked off, Temari sighed to herself, the last of the kids straggling behind.

"I really wouldn't have minded that much…" she mumbled to herself.

**XxxxX** END OF CHAPTER **XxxxX**

**Author's Noteh:**

I wanted to make them kiss for real so bad. I mean, I must be losing readers by the second, having not had them kissed yet.

However, you may be pleasantly surprised in the next chapter.

I have no clue what to have them to do on Day 3. I have the rest of the days planned but day three.

If you send me a suggestion, I might end up using it .

Thank you so much to all the people who review, I try to reply to every single one. And no thanks to Misa-Danna the Distracter.

**HEART!**


	7. Hot Spring Antics

**Taming The Troublesome**

**Rating: T**

**Chapter Seven: Hot Spring Antics**

_Sorry this took so goddamn long to post. We've been having huge windstorms here, and I haven't had power for days . _

_I would like to drop a huge bomb of gratitude towards the one who made this chapter extra-special- Tacky76, who waded through all the crap I had originally written, and helped me make it the best (well, almost) it could possibly be. So: many thanks 3_

_**This chapter initially had a lot of grammar mistakes, due to some conflicting edition. This version of the chapter is released temporarily, and a fully edited one will be released A.S.A.P. Sorry about this, guys.**_

**XxxxX**

The next day was not a very happy one.

Shikamaru awoke precisely when he wanted to, not caring if he was late. It wasn't like _she_ was going to be up. _SHE_! That **girl** - Temari of the Sand, the Kazekage's stupid sister. Lately she had become the source of all his problems. The girlthat supposedly fell asleep on his face.

"That's bullshit," he fumed as he toweled his hair dry, walking into his kitchen. "Utter bullshit. What kind of person falls asleep on another's face? That's unhygienic! Think of all the sicknesses that could be spread!"

Shikamaru's apartment was so much more different than his family's home. For one thing, it was messy, something he longed for his entire life. There was a bit of overstuffed looking furniture his mom had dragged out of the attic for him. Shikamaru often liked to pull up a chair in front of his large window and gaze out of it, watching the people walk along the street. He kept a Shogi board on the coffee table in the living room. Sometimes Asuma would come over and play and less frequently, that father of his. Shikamaru's kitchen was one of those untouched-looking ones. He only ever entered it when he was so hungry, he could barely stand. This morning was one of those times.

He paced around the kitchen attempting some semblance of breakfast. So far he had a small bottle of vanilla, a squeeze container of syrup and two pieces of bread which he stuffed in the toaster. He was never really one to cook. Walking back into the living room, he looked out the window, tying the towel around his waist. It was partially sunny and looked cold. What sort of work would they get done today? What sort of work _could_ they get done today? Come to think of it, he hadn't even really checked the schedule… what came after day two?

Shikamaru could smell his toast burning from the living room, and groaned. He continued his search for the scroll the Hokage had given him anyway. Ignorance worked well for almost everything in life, right?

"Damn!" he kept looking under sofa cushions, under chairs, under desks and all the while, the charred smell grew stronger. Crawling out from beneath a desk, he let out a frustrated growl. "WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT SMELL?!"

He stomped into the kitchen, and moaned very loudly. Rubbing his face roughly with a hand, Shikamaru went to the counter, and unplugged the savagely smoking toaster.

Tempting fate for another dog-leg-humping, Shikamaru continued to look for the scroll, frequently adjusting his towel, and flinging his wet hair out of his face.

_There was that burning smell again…_

"WHAT THE…!"

Shikamaru ambled back into the kitchen. Now _all_ the appliances were smoking. Shikamaru _individually_ unplugged each and every smoking appliance. Then, he placed the toaster on the floor, and kicked it, _hard_. It skittered into the living room and hit the wall on the opposite side of the room. Shikamaru would have felt satisfied, save for the suspicious looking scraps of paper that littered the floor as it flew, leaving an eerie black trail to the wall. And that fancy green and gold border! Wasn't that the kind of paper official notices were written on?

Shikamaru picked up a scrap, and dimly realized that it had the phrase, "your ass kicked twice" written on it …

He collapsed on the couch and grumbled, "Well, this is certainly a-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence before someone turned his doorknob and burst in through the doorway. He leapt up, wishing he had some sort of weapon on hand, Even more so, when he realized who it was…

"Dammit you troublesome woman, don't you know how to KNOCK?!"

"You never do!" Her 'do' was rather strangled though, because it was then that she realized his outward appearance. "Y..y..your hair!" she cried, pointing. What she really wanted to say was, 'Your body!' but that wasn't exactly an acceptable thing to say to someone you supposedly hated.

Shikamaru realized his normally rigid locks were cascading down his shoulders rather femininely. He quickly pulled a hair band off his wrist and pulled his hair expertly into his normal ponytail.

The realization occurred to him that she wasn't just talking about his hair. Somehow, he felt she was noticing his half naked-ness. Feeling indignant, and of the belief she deserved punishment for being so rude, he struck a pose with the flourish one would normally expect from men like Kano.

"What's wrong, don't they have _REAL MEN_ in Suna?" he quipped.

In the time it took her to grab her fan, he was back in his room getting dressed.

**XxxxX**

"So, you lost your scroll?" Temari asked.

"No." he scowled, as they walked down the street, "My toaster ate it." As the words had left his mouth he realized how ridiculous that sounded.

"I'm so sure. Lucky for you I have a copy."

"That's not lucky for me. It's lucky for you."

"How so, pineapple head?!"

"Because otherwise you wouldn't have anything to do all day."

"And our villages would go to war."

"All because you were pissed off you couldn't spend a day with me?" he smirked, and was knocked upside the head. "What was that for?!"

"Obvious reasons, Nara, obvious reasons."

His small apartment seemed to shrink even smaller. Shikamaru stood defiantly eyeing her, his arms folded across his chest. She returned his aggression with her own, crossing her own arms and puffing out her chest. Normally the effect it induced in enemies was one of fear and caution, but not in this one. She noted that Shikamaru's eyes left her own fractionally and wandered before returning to a point on a nearby building. She felt her face heat up and was glad that it was he that eventually spoke first. "So, are you going to tell me what we're supposed to do today, or not?"

"It's an Itinerary." She hurriedly handed him her copy of the scroll. "Your Hokage said to take me where I wanted to go."

Shikamaru groaned loudly. "Oh, come on, She didn't _really_ say that."

"Look for yourself, Nara." She replied, smartly.

He opened the scroll slowly. And sure enough, under day three, mostly personal writing was visible.

_**DAY 3:**_

_**Pickup:** Whenever._

_**Activity:** 'Okay Temari. Here's the itinerary for today. The training grounds aren't open for tour today, so you'll be doing that tomorrow. Today, have Shikamaru take you to a place you'd LIKE to go. May I suggest the Hot Springs?'_

_**P.S:** Should he disobey please inform me, he has already been made aware of his proper punishment for disobedience._

_**Signed:** Hokage._

'Punishment? This is so bothersome!' Shikamaru thought, 'Do not suggest anything troublesome, lady.'

"Take me to the hot springs." Temari commanded, taking back the scroll.

Shikamaru looked at her point blank. "No."

"Yes! It's my day to choose, and I say, we go to the hot springs!"

"Why?! You don't even _need_ me, we'd be in separate sections!"

"I know how hot springs work, dumbass."

"Well, I assumed Suna was too hot to have need for hot springs."

"…" Temari looked resolute. "You'd be correct."

"So why do you want to go so bad?!"

"Because I've never been to one, that's why Nara. I figured you'd deduced that by now."

"That's a stupid reason."

Silence.

"… I suppose I'll take you once." He frowned.

Temari tried to turn the honest smile that was aching to take over her face into a triumphant smirk. "Good."

**XxxxX**

"So you go in there, and I go in here." Shikamaru explained as he pointed out the various entrances.

Temari hit him on the back of his head. "Shut up, I'm not stupid!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know? You said yourself that there aren't any hot springs in Suna."

Temari didn't dignify that with an answer, something that had been happening more and more frequently. Brushing him aside she marched off to the ladies section leaving him to himself. Shikamaru wondered why he was here, especially now that he could just leave and she wouldn't even notice. As he entered the male section, alone, he took off his clothes, and wrapped a towel around his waist. His mind started to wander '_If he was lucky enough, maybe_…'

"Ah! Shikamaru! Come for a peek?" a familiar voice interrupted his musings. He whipped around and came face to face with a certain old pervert's face.

"Jesus Christ!" Shikamaru's face fell. "What are YOU doing here, Jiraiya?"

"What do you think? I practically live here! What with my research and all… and there's a _fine_ specimen today. I just saw a blonde woman climb all alone into the women's hot spring, with nothing to protect her purity, save a single, slender towel, cascading-"

"Shut up! I don't need to hear all this stuff about Temari!" he cried. "I'm supposed to take her to the hot springs. She asked me to!"

Jiraiya laughed. "You're kidding me right?" he continued to laugh, a barking, mocking laugh, that made Shikamaru blush. "The world's most desired foreign woman comes to visit - and she asks _you_ to take her to the hot springs?"

"Yeah? So what? I'm supposed to show her around, because the Hokage told me to, and she asked to go-"

"Tsunade asked you to do this? Take Temari to the hot springs?"

"Yeah, she suggested it." There was silence.

"And Temari agreed?" asked Jiraiya

Shikamaru nodded. Jiraiya seemed to be pondering something. Shikamaru left him standing there, sinking into the warm spring, assuming he had stumped the old man's brain.

Shikamaru had just closed his eyes, and crossed his arms as the water sloshed over dry parts of his skin. Jiraiya had entered the hot spring beside him. The younger boy fully intended to ignore him, until he heard a smoky voice in his ear.

"I don't think you understand what we're talking about here." The hermit suggestively smiled.

Shikamaru cracked open an eye and tried to look uninterested. "Yeah. Temari. Annoying, whiney, violent, pain-in-the-ass Temari."

"Wrong!" Jiraiya cried in a singsong voice.

He took Shikamaru's arm and pulled him haphazardly from his resting place. "What are you doing?" Shikamaru hissed, struggling against his strength.

"I'm going to make sure you never take her body for granted again!" Then everything blurred and there was a splash… Shikamaru's face was pressed, rather violently, against a gap in a beam.

His sight was instantly assaulted by a white-toweled angel. She was perched on a rock, looking relaxed. A wet towel draped her body, clinging to her curves. The drops of water cascading down her creamy skin mirrored the torrential beads of sweat, down his. Shikamaru struggled against the hand on the back of his head at first. Unfortunately the aesthetic beauty of her form quickly abolished any resistance from him. Never had he REALLY been able to appreciate the suppleness of her form, the perfect shape and size of her large breasts, the way her stomach was firmly toned, the simple and innocent arch of her back… He wanted to run his fingertips over her skin and –

The hand on the back of his head pulled him out of his trance, and threw him backwards into the water. Jiraiya resumed the spot Shikamaru had been peeping in just seconds before.

Peeping… Shikamaru realized he had been peeping at Temari of the sand! Worse yet, he realized he liked it!

"No!" he cried. "It's wrong, _wrong, WRONG_! I shouldn't be looking at people naked without their consent!" He covered his mouth.

That was loud, too loud. Jiraiya didn't seem to notice, or care. There was a splash that sounded as though someone was jumping into the water off a height.

"Oh yes, come to Jiraiya, baby…" he heard the old man mumble. "Oh god… yes, the fan…yes!"

Shikamaru was startled as the butt of a fan erupted through the wooden wall dividing the men and women's springs. He was thrown backwards, as a wind propelled current threw him to the left and Jiraiya backwards.

"Shikamaru!" Temari cried. "I can't believe you just let him…"

She stood there, fan brandished, towel barely hiding anything, chest heaving and her eyes flaring angrily. Then coincidentally, the corner of her towel at the most inopportune moment, began to peel off her chest. Shikamaru threw himself backwards into the spring and covered his eyes hurriedly with his hands. Temari caught the towel. They were both blushing a shade of surpassing red.

"We're leaving now." She grimaced through her teeth, sloshing back to the women's side.

The wall was totally wiped out, Jiraiya suffered a black eye and a nosebleed, and the hot springs owner appeared to be more scared than mad. What a hectic day it had become.

And that was when Shikamaru realized his towel was missing.

**XxxxX**

The pair hadn't spoken since they left the building. The walk into town was full of pregnant pauses and awkward silence.

Shikamaru was going over in his head, the situation that had occurred under an hour ago. Could she have possibly seen his…?

He hoped she was just feeling embarrassed about the towel and the Jiraiya incident. Yet, she was sort of right. Though at the same time, he hadn't really cared if the image of her body was defiled by Jiraiya. He never really considered how he'd feel in that position, relaxing in a foreign place… she hadn't even really gotten to know the true peace and relaxation that hot springs could bring. Although Jiraiya wasn't his responsibility, he should have stopped the old man.

He glanced at the older girl. How long it had been since they had been the same height. Now, Shikamaru walked at least two inches taller than the Suna Tigress. Temari looked close to tears. Before, she had been angry. Now, was she just… embarrassed?

"Hey." Shikamaru stopped. "I'm… sorry about earlier. You're right, I should have stopped him."

"It's okay, Shikamaru. That dumbass pervert can just rot in hell for all I care." She retorted. Had she just called him Shikamaru?

_And yet…_

"Hey! Why don't we go get dinner? I mean, you paid for the springs, why not _I _treat _you_ tonight?" he chanced to ask. "You can't eat bacon for the rest of your life." he added. There was a familiar whack to the back of his head.

"You asshole. I am perfectly capable of cooking for myself!"

"But don't deny you wouldn't like a free meal, you ungrateful woman."

"You're right." She sounded mad, but you could tell she felt a little bit more lighthearted.

"I suppose…" he said, pretending for another moment that he hated Temari. He had been feeling that _more_ and _more_ lately and frankly, he was growing tired of hating her. It was sucking out all his energy. Perhaps it was easier… to be nice to her? "You have a place you'd like to go?"

"Actually yes. A few nights ago, I went to this nice barbecue place, on the edge of town. And I _deserve_ to go there."

"I'm so sure… it's annoying … but… I suppose it would be all right." He frowned, and crossed his arms, trying not to feel awkward.

This time, there were no excuses, no explanations or plans to offer. He was seeing her socially. And even if it was just this once, once was enough. The next four days would stretch out in front of him, like a long…

taut…

…sexual…

thread.

There was no way he could escape. He had already ruined her day off. It would be heartless to take his offer back at this point. She might actually cry this time. And when you make the toughest woman you know start to cry, you have to look at yourself, and wonder how much of an asshole you are.

**XxxxX**

"It's strange. I was born and raised in Konoha… yet… I'm not sure I've ever been here…" Shikamaru mumbled, as they walked through the chattering restaurant. The din of light voices and sizzling meat gave the restaurant a surprisingly warm atmosphere.

Couples and families were stuffed into booths, hunched over the square grills that glowed with heat in the center of the table. Fake, dusty lotus blossoms were poised in jars on the tables, along with a small candle. Shikamaru remembered why he didn't like barbecue that much. It was the idea of being stuffed into a booth, too close for comfort, with a bunch of people you'd rather not spend anymore time with than you had to.

"Table for two, please." Temari told the waiter.

They were led through a maze of bustling patrons to their booth in a small stuffy little part of the restaurant. Was Shikamaru the only one who noticed how much it sounded like they were on a date? Apparently not, because the very tip of a smirk tickled at her lips. After they sat down, it seemed like an eternity before anyone talked. Temari must have noticed his accidental asking of her persons on a date, for she too, participated in the echoing silence.

"So…" Shikamaru put his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his hands. "This is boring. You're normally chatty to the point of insanity." He muttered, more to himself than the girl across the table.

Temari must have overheard, for she reached across the table, and knocked his elbows out from under him, causing him to plant his face smack dab in the middle of the table, narrowly missing the grill in the center. Shikamaru wondered dimly afterwards if he had imagined her next comment or not.

"It's not polite to insult your date." Temari mumbled loftily.

Assuming he hadn't heard her correctly, or just plain not heard her, he scowled, and tried not to look embarrassed. "I'm…We're… not on a date!"

"Who said we were?" her eyes flashed dangerously.

"You **just** did! You said something about it being impolite to insult your date!"

"I did not!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "What did you say then?!"

"I said it looks like those two are on a date, numbskull!" Temari sure was getting better at covering her ass.

And it must have been fate, because Kurenai and Asuma walked through the door of the restaurant They got a table in the back of the restaurant, unnoticed in a secluded corner. Shikamaru found himself a bit happy that they hadn't noticed and yet, a bit sad. Only Asuma could possibly save him from this witch of a woman.

"Liar!" Shikamaru cried. "You just made that up, because you let something _SLIP_ out!"

"SLIP MY ASS! I said nothing, pineapple brain!"

"No!" Shikamaru snorted, "I downright refuse to slip your ass!"

She answered this with a slap across his temple.

"OW! DON'T HIT ME, SAND WITCH!" Shikamaru protested loudly.

"Don't you EVER-"

"What do you two want?" It was the waiter.

"PORK!"

"HER HEAD ON A FUCKING PLATTER!" Shikamaru pointed wildly in Temari's direction.

"I'll take that as two porks then…" The waiter sounded bored, and walked off.

Temari glowered at him menacingly. "The second you so much as TOUCH my head, or anything close to it, so help me I'll-"

Shikamaru reached over and touched her neck.

"THAT'S IT! You're fucking dead, you little asshole!"

Shikamaru dodged her blow, and she hit the back of his seat, making the couple on the other side shoot them dark looks.

"COME BACK HERE, COWARD! TAKE YOUR FATE like a **_REAL_** man!" Trust Temari to use his own insults against him.

"You would know _ALL ABOUT _being a **_REAL_** man, wouldn't you?!"

They lunged for each other.

"My, my, aren't we having fun." A calm and amused voice interrupted the couple's petty argument.

Both of the Shinobi were leaning dangerously low over the grill, glaring daggers at each other. Temari looked up, but Shikamaru could recognize that voice any day. Damn… Asuma had made his way to the table. Kurenai watched, smiling mildly, from the couple's own table.

"Shut up." Shikamaru mumbled, pulling back. It figures that the first time he decided to take Temari on a _gracious_ date, they'd end up verbally sparring. It was the way the two Shinobis kept close. When in doubt, insult the other!

Asuma stepped aside as the platters of assorted cuts of pork were set on the table. Shikamaru could see a little red fingerprint forming on the blonde kunoichi's neck, where he had poked it. Oops.

"Well, I wouldn't normally interrupt, but you two lovebirds are being awfully loud."

Temari looked around expecting glares. All she saw from corner to corner, were amused, lofty smirks. The kind of smirk that would make your blood curdle. The kind you saw on people's faces when they knew something you didn't. Temari slapped two pieces of sizzling meat on to the grill. "You shouldn't be talking about lovebirds, Sarutobi."

Asuma adopted the common smirk, as people began to talk again. "Why not? You two are so goddamn cute together."

Shikamaru and Temari eyes made contact for a moment, before each deciding to lunge at the Jounin.

**XxxxX**

Asuma sauntered home late that night nursing twin bruises on each side of his head. Kurenai patted his shoulder as they walked in the chilly night air. The village of Konaha took on a mysterious visage as the mist slowly descended upon this mysterious pair.

"You know, we used to be like that. Except your remarks were more lewd, and mine were more rowdy." Kurenai chuckled at the irony.

"When you're around those two, you can cut the sexual tension with a knife! I'm so damn tired of all this denial stuff." Asuma, for the fifty-thousandth time that night, tenderly touched one of the bruises and winced.

"Stop touching it!" Kurenai batted his hand away. "That's just their little way of flirting."

"Psh! It's tiring!"

"Look what it took to get us together," the dark haired, red eyed vixen demurely responded. "You were pretty thick headed too."

Asuma had to laugh at this. "HA! Eventually, you just… wait a minute!" Asuma exclaimed. "Do you think…?"

The grin she gave him answered his unspoken question. "It's always worth a try!"

"A ninja has to think beyond the beyond." Asuma stroked his beard before a malicious twinkle invaded his pupils. "We would need to set it up elaborately. After all this is Shikamaru we're dealing with."

"I'll get some help from the other Jounins."

Chuckling and exchanging ideas they hatched a plot together. Surely what worked for them should work for Shikamaru and Temari, right?

**XxxxX** END OF CHAPTER **XxxxX**

**Author's Noteh:**

And again, we finish another chapter. This one's about twice as long as one I normally write, but whatever, just had to throw that in. So yes! There was pervertedness! There was Jiraiya! And there were, for sure, a lot of hot spring antics, as well as dates-gone-wrong.

Again, HUGE thanks to Tacky76, this is… well, it's really special xDD

Call it a 'filler chapter'

Oh, and I almost forgot! Thanks to all of you who submitted your suggestions for possible days! Today's hot springs idea was brought to you by Katelyn. And a few more of your suggestions have been added to the schedule. I won't release it (The schedule), but look forward to the next chapter for sure.

**NATTO**


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